Paris Hilton Career To Tank!

With the recent announcement of the AP’s attempt to keep Paris Hilton out of the media for every little inane piece of salacious nonsense that occurs in her over privileged life, I predict Paris Hilton will realize this year that she is in fact a huge moron! This will at first be a shock to the airhead of the millennia but eventually she will accept this and move out to a trailer in Jersey with a trucker named Burt.

Anna Nicole Funeral To Include Clowns!

Ah the Anna Nicole Saga continues. Why, oh why, do we give two tick terds about this woman’s funeral? She needs to be laid to rest (no pun intended). The insanity of talking about this woman’s “over the top” funeral just shows the media’s complete lack of empathy.
Moreover, I’ll bet a dollar to a donut that some f**king tabloid will get a picture of her in her coffin. We need to get a life---myself included. I am just feeding into the frenzy by writing blogs mocking the media frenzy around her death.

Judge To Become Spokesman For Hair Club!

In a move that will both shock and stun the media, Judge Larry Seidlin, the famed farcical judiciary in the Anna Nicole Smith, “Who’s your daddy?” case, will become a spokesman for Hair Club for men and will have his ass hair transplanted to his head!

Pelosi's Comments Bush's Thinking Impaired...No Sh**?

As Bush pushes his Iraqi plan into action, Nancy Pelosi stepped up to the plate and called Bush’s thinking “impaired” in an interview with Larry King on CNN. A gutsy if not all too well thought out statement. Impaired would imply that there was a reason for his lunacy, crack, psychiatric problems, alcohol, autoerotic asphyxiation.
However, as we watch Bush play gunboat diplomacy with Iran and shovel billions into the failed democracy in Iraq, we must ask, how is his thinking impaired? Obviously, the man has all of his faculties; he is not abusing substances, at least none that has been reported by any media sources. It could be argued Dub’ has a mental illness, of course, that could be said of every president since Washington.
Therefore, careful wording is in order. How about judgment “flawed”? Or better yet, judgment “undesirable”? Or even better, judgment “not conducive to order and logic”? If none of these work then how about our president is a “greedy little roly-poly” with no conviction about using US troops to fight a war for oil?

Tomb of Jesus Discovered!

The discovery of the crypt of Jesus of Jerusalem has already started Biblical scholars talking. And of course, there will no doubt be attempts to both prove and disprove this tomb as the authentic tomb of Christ---or a descendent of Jesus.
Moreover, I predict this will be the beginning of a new fervor around the return of Jesus. In addition, some more fanatical Christian sect might try to get their hands on the remains in order to attempt to clone the corpse and thereby raise “Jesus” from the dead.
Sound too farfetched? Well, examine the history of some of the attempts by various sects to bring about Jesus’ return then ask that question again.

Clinton and Obama To Fight Cage Match!

Barack, I want you to hit me as hard as you can..."

Hillary and Barack are in a tiff this week over the ‘Tinsel Town Tussle’ and this has many pundits asking can either of these politicos make it to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. (Not that we need to worry since Dub’ will likely declare himself supreme dictator and disband the congress.) Yet no one in the media has asked the real pressing question---do we need ‘em? Do we need Giuliani, Romney, Brownbeck , or McCain?
If you exam this like a rational person and not some indoctrinated political pundit beholden to your party’s dogma the answer is obvious--- no. No, we do not need four years of another corrupt scumbag elitist with a corporate agenda. However, we do not need Unsafe at any speed Nader either; it just rhymes too much with Vader.
Therefore, I predict we will have four more years of shit no matter whom we elect and we deserve it. We are apathetic, even those of us that waste the timing voting. We know they will screw us but we campaign for them, elect them, and exalt them anyway.
So what is a person to do? Just bury your head in the sand and when November ’08 passes pull your head out and look at the face of your new leader---whoever it might be. Then bitch and complain like always then go back to your cubicle and play Warcraft and pretend to be working.

Jackie Hartman's Body May Have Been Found...

Must break Ms. Dubois pea picker that good old fashion hard police work led to the discovery of what is likely Jackie Hartman's body and not the ethereal nonsense.
May you rest and peace, Ms. Hartman. To the family of Ms. Hartman you have my deepest sympathies.
http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/story/84403

Judge Larry Seidlin Will Get His Own Show!

Judge Larry Seidlin, where do I start with this schmuck? He is rude, vapid, ignorant, and is frankly, a slouch. I thought Lance Ito from the OJ trial was a moron but this guy takes it to new heights. He yaks about his personal problems, makes snide comments, and in my humble opinion, is on a power trip that shows some serious shortcomings that seem to plague all of the US judiciary.
They somehow see themselves as God, exalted above all others, casting their stones from the mole hill of piety we all call the ‘bench’. And who suffers because of it? Well, the accused and the victims of crime, of course. With people like Seidlin on the bench who needs criminals?
Therefore, rubbing my crystal balls and staring into the ether of cynicism I see---I see---Judge Larry with one of those idiotic ‘Judge Judy” shows that the unemployed degenerates wait to see every afternoon. Stay tuned skeptics and satirist this is gonna be a bumpy ride!

Hello Ms. Dubois....

I have taken down the uncopyrighted pictures of Ms. Dubois at the bequest of no one but after seeing recurring traffic from Phoenix, it is a safe bet Ms. Dubois is likely surfing the blogs looking for skeptics to attack much in the same way she has James Randi.
Is the problem that skeptics bring attention to her absurd claims or is it that you are not making enough cash from your seminars and books and the royalty checks from NBC and you are looking for someone to sue?
Well, know this if you come after me, Ms. Dubois, you will only serve to popularize my site, and thereby my message that you and your ilk are full of crap and should be held civilly and criminally liable for your claims.
If all I am is ‘unintelligent’ and ‘irritating’ as you have called James Randi then you should be able to continue hocking your psyche nonsense with no problems. However, if I have struck a raw nerve then perhaps we should talk in an open forum where the public can decide who is worth listening to.
By all means feel free to email me.

Obama---Is This Really What We Need?

I am not against a black president. In fact, I think Colin Powell would have been an outstanding candidate had Dub’ not hamstringed him by offering him up on the altar for the WMD scandal. However, is this the right time for president Obama?
The answer is a resounding NO! This is a terrible time for Obama to win the presidency. First off, whether 9/11 was an inside job, the act of Al Qaida, or a way to clear out parking space for Manhattan, we are still at war with radical Islam and Obama, whether he wants to admit it or not is only a generation or so away from that very ideology.
Regardless of how quickly the corporate whores in the media are to retract their statements about Obama’s ties to Islam the fact remains his grandfather was educated in a madrassa ( a school that teaches Whabbism, a radical Islamic doctrine) and he spent two years studying in a Muslim school as a child.
Whether or not it was a madrassa is irrelevant, do we really want a man with such ties to Islam at the helm of our country? Especially, when we have handed so much power over to the Oval Office in the last six years?
The answer should be obvious and if it is not then you are both blind and stupid.

Check Out More Obama Truth!

Anna Nicole----Will Rise From The Dead!

The war in Iraq is failing. The US may go to war with Iran. A Muslim went into a Utah mall and shot people at random. Global Warming. Crime. Child Abuse. But, what is news?
The tribulations of marginal celeb Anna Nicole. This has passed sickening and gone to revolting. I predict this will be the sensational spotlight of the moment that finally tips the ‘average’ American opinion of the media to outright hostility.
Anna Nicole is not 24 hour newsworthy-----end of story.

Real Life Allison Dubois's Dubious Deductions!

There is little doubt I am a skeptic of psychics. I have demonstrated several times that simple observation is all these ‘gifted’ people have. Now, I am not ready to completely denounce all paranormal phenomenon, I am not the pessimistic little troll that is the editor of Skeptic magazine. No, I believe there are phenomenon that cannot be dismissed with the wave of the magic wand of scientific reasoning.
Yet, here we go again with another celebrity psychic making predictions about the kidnapping and possible homicide of a child! This time the warped psycho is none other than the real life version of that trite NBC drama medium, Allison Dubois.
The case involves 19-year-old Jackie Hartman a college student from Arizona. Ms. Dubois if you please went on Oprah (which should be called Doprah since everyone seems to be so damn addict to this mind numbing claptrap) and stated that she saw the young girl choked to unconscious and killed. She also stated the body would be found, blah, blah, and blah. More vagaries and horseshit!
Of course, the body will be found! They have a suspect in custody, the victim’s boyfriend, so it stands to reason the crime was likely a sudden impulse not a well thought act and he likely hastily disposed of the corpse. Duh! If they don’t find the body I have a prediction! All of the law enforcement involved with the case will be FIRED!
In addition, here is another, duh! Allison Dubois is just doing this for ratings because the crappy show based on her real life exploits (exploitations) is faltering under the weight of bad plot lines and pitiful acting.
The thing that burns my ass the worst about this is the fact the talk show hounds still give these idiots like Dubois, Sylvia Browne, and John Edwards air time and lend credence to their hogwash.
So Oprah, do us favor and stick to banal celebrity interviews and reviews of dull books that no one wants to read and leave the true crime to John Walsh.
(Excuse my abuse of passive voice on this one but I am a little emotional about this one! This is the very thing that burns me the most about psychics. Plus, I haven’t had any coffee!)

Oscar Prediction!

The Oscars are somewhat overrated. Moreover, they are used as a political platform for high ended, pie in the sky speeches about all sorts of current events and most of the time I could care less. However, this year I am rooting for one category and one actor in particular.
This year I predict, Forest Whitaker will win for best actor! Why? Because he is an underrated and unappreciated perform. This is predominately because he is not the traditional ‘hunky’ leading man. I have liked Mr. Whitaker since ‘Fast Times At Ridgemount High’. I also like him because he is a fellow Clydesdale runner as is often featured in his films (ie Blown Away).
I have seen his performance in the ‘Last King of Scotland’ and to be frank it is one of the best I have ever seen. He is compelling, convincing, and leaves you feeling slightly empathetic for the brutal dictator Idi Amin.
This is my one and only Oscar prediction unless I decide to spoof DeCaprio, who is the single most overrated actor in the history of film. I hope Mr. Whitaker wins, good luck, Forest!

Attention Whore Britney Spears Shaves Head!

It seems Britney has decided to chop off her dishwater blond, white trash mop in favor of the GI Jane look. Did anyone tell her that Sinead O’Connor already tried this one---and that she looked a damn sight better with her head shaved?
See, this is the price of celebrity. You get so bored that you have to do more and more insane things in order to garner the attention of the press because at the end of the day that is all you really have is the attention of the press.
I predict her next album will be some deep introspective bunch of BS that is a rip off of Alanis Morissette’s journey from teeny bopper to real singer, which was a rip off of Madonna who ripped off someone to old for me to remember. Can anyone be original anymore?

Media Hides Fact Utah Shooter Muslims To Push Own Agenda!

Five people lose their lives in a Utah shooting and the media glances over the subject. Their main emphasis in the entire story---guns are evil! Sorry, but I don’t subscribe to the whiny ‘anti-gun’ lobby. Do some math, there are 60 million legal gun owners in the US, and this does not account for those that possess firearms illegally such as convicted felons yet handguns account for less than 2000 deaths annually.
However, there are roughly 400,000 physicians in the US yet there are 700,000 deaths annually from physician mistakes, not taking into account screw-ups by nurses, pharmacists, or paramedics. So, should we make doctors illegal? Of course not.
Nevertheless, this illustrates my point you cannot impugn all gun owners for the mistakes of negligent and criminal people. An unarmed society will no longer be a free society!
But, enough about that! The real issue here is the media’s lack of coverage of the fact that the young man who was the shooter was in fact a Muslim! He was from Bosnia and had lived through the war in Yugoslovia. There is evidence that he was also leaning toward a radical Muslim ideology in recent years.
Why does the media not report this? Simple enough, they do not want to offend the Muslim community. Well, sorry, I could care less. This was a hate crime! Moreover, had the young men been a white boy from Texas with a confederate flag t-shirt the media would be calling foul! So, how do we solve this problem?
The solution is to keep our eye on the media and tell them we have heard enough about Anna Nicole lets here some real news! Report the facts, not your flipping agenda. Of course, I’m probably fighting a losing battle people are celebrity mongering sensationalists and nothing else. Keep your eye on the “My Baby’s Mom Gate” and watch your freedom slip from your hand!

The Dirty Dozen: Optimize Your Blog Traffic!

1. Put up some blog entry with inane tags such as ‘how to increase you blog traffic!’ or ‘ten ways to a better love life!’
2. Start yet another blog about SEO! Yes, we need another blog like this like we need more lawyers!
3. Right brainless articles about being a millionaire visa via your blog!
4. Pray to the Google god and don’t get angry when the adsense demons accuse you of cheating them!
5. Stay on the Internet night and day. I mean start to wear depends so you do not need to get up for the ‘turlet’.
6. Buy expensive, useless software that will do nothing but throw out a bunch of overused keywords to direct people to your site.
7. Go on to other peoples blogs and post comments making sure to leave your blog address at the bottom of each post like some desperate guy at a pick up bar that jots his phone number on every cocktail napkin he touches.
8. Harass and threaten friends and neighbors, threatening to call or drop by unexpectedly if they do not visit your blog.
9. Hack into Google, Yahoo, and MSN and make your blog appear number one on every search all the time!
10. Use Ping-O-Matic every five minutes!
11. E-mail news outlets and see if you can dupe them into giving out your blog address on their program.
12. One word….”SPAM!”

Are You Psychic? Take My Quiz!

Please answer the following questions to determine if you are psychic:

Do you hear or see things other people do not?

Do you feel that your thoughts are racing?

Do you often feel as though you are different and people just don’t get you or they are trying to persecute you?

Do you believe you have some sort of special power that separates you from everyone else?

Have you:

Ever spoken with Elvis?

Been abducted by a UFO?

Seen Bigfoot?

Spoken to fairies, elves, or trolls?

Believe you are a Jedi?

If you answered yes to any of the first four, well, listen up! I took those from diagnostic criteria from a psychiatric manual so you should seek help from a mental health professional! If you answered yes to the bottom five, you are a loony or you need to move out of your mom’s basement and get a girlfriend. Newsflash!------Star Trek is a TV show!

Media Quiz! How sharp are you?

Questions 1-5:

Is the US at war with Iran or Iraq?

Who is the Secretary of Defense for the US?

Is Condoleezza Rice a spicy Mexican dish or Secretary of State?

How long has it been since the US hanged Osama Bin Laden in Iraq?

Is a bunker buster a type of bomb or a two fat people having sex on the top of a bunk bed?

Questions 6-10:

Name two of the three idiots claiming to be the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby’s daddy?

Who is the moron that was married to Britney Spears?

Name two celebs that have been photographed without panties.

What did Brad and Angelina name their baby?

Who is Jennifer Aniston dating?

Complete the quiz. Then check your answers below.

Questions 1-5:

Iraq

Robert Gates

Secretary of State for George W. Bush

We did not hang Bin Laden. The Iraqis hanged Hussein.

It is a bomb, although this is a trick question since both answers are correct.

Questions 6-10:

Baron Von Creepy, some photographer with bad hair, and the lawyer with the same name as a famous DJ!

Getfed, Inbred, something like that, who cares?

Skinny and trashy, scrawny and trashy, and just plain trashy. (aka Paris, Lindsey, and Britney)

Rhymes with Silo

Don’t know but he is a lucky man!

Now, for your score.

Questions 1-5

Number correct:

1-you have glanced at the cover of a ‘real’ newspaper!

2-you’ve surfed onto the NY Times thinking it was a porn site.

3-Okay, so you read the back page of CNN’s website.

4-You actually are concerned but you are easily distracted.

5- Either you cheated or NPR is your favorite radio station!

Questions 6-10:

If you got any of these right, either you are 12 or you need to get a life!

Anna Nicole Idiocy Draws Attention From Real World!

Once upon a time, I believed the mainstream media was a poor judge of what people wanted to know. I actually believed there were people concerned about America and the road we are on. However, with the death of marginal celeb Anna Nicole Smith, I now realize most Americans, and most people in general, are troglodytes. For those of you with the lexicon of a two year old that means cave-dweller.
I watch CNN and Fox periodically throughout the day, though I no longer monitor their websites because it is just a regurgitation of the same tripe. Now, I surf non-traditional sources of news, and compare it against CNN, Fox, and MSNBC and try to discern the facts that lie somewhere in the middle.
In the last few days though, I have come to realize, it is not the media’s fault people are ignorant of current political, economic, and military issues. It is the fault of every nitwit that blunderbusses over the web looking for the latest gossip on Anna Nicole’s death or Lindsey Lohan’s battle with what the hell ever.
It disappoints me that the primary motivation of most people is not to be informed about what is going on in the world, what forces are shaping their destinies, but instead it is to stay informed about big boobs McGee’s last moments on Earth.
Here, I’ll sum it up for you! She was a drug addict and alcoholic, she apparently screwed anything that moved, and she died! Film at eleven!!! Case closed.
Therefore, as our blundering president stumbles toward yet another military misadventure, don’t worry, just keep your eyes on what Brad and Angelina are doing, everything else will work itself out.

'Milder' Iran Will Not Stop Invasion...

The Iranian Prime Minister said in a Good Morning America interview this week that, “The situation in Iraq should resolved with dialog not conflict,” he also went on to deny the charges against Iran stating they had not been supplying weapons to the Iraqi insurgency.
While the question of whether not the Iranian government is supplying the insurgency remains to be seen, it is obvious that the US is bolstering its case for war with the recent release of intelligence implicating Iran as the chief weapons pimp to the Shiite insurgents.
Oddly enough, this new intelligence came just days before the US decided to close the borders to Syria and Iran in order to secure Baghdad. This simple ruse places US forces within striking distance of Iran. Invasion is likely only weeks if not days away. How so you ask.
By placing US troops on the borders, the White House can create an artificial flash point. Here is our Gulf of Tonkin situation unfolding right before our eyes.
This is the likely scenario, a patrol of US and Iraqi forces along the border will encounter an insurgency from Iran and respond. Our forces will likely be massacred and in turn, Joe and Jenny America screams ‘blood!’ From there, an escalation of words will ensue and the President will ask for the use of force. The congress, fearing they will be seen as weak, will authorize the use of force, and the Bush White House will seize the moment and launch a large scale bombing campaign.
Paranoid? Perhaps. Psychic? No! A possibility. Well, I hope I am wrong. Regardless of what Tehran does or says now, the ball is rolling and we will invade.

Dixie Chicks Sweep Awards!....Duh!

As I ‘predicted’ days before the Grammys the ‘Dixie Chicks’ swept the awards! This was a no brainer! First, the entertainment industry is one big liberal mouthpiece. Second, the victory of the ‘Dixie Chicks’ clearly reflects the mood of the country which is total distrust of the Bush White House.

War with Iran:Skyrocketing Oil Prices!

It appears war with Iran is inevitable. To proud dictators, neither one willing to budge, added to the mix the largest oil reserves in the world, jihadist insanity, and a US president with a low approval rating, and you have the mixture for a catastrophic war.
Although, our main concern should be the massive fatalities incurred by the coming conflict with Iran, another concern rears its ugly head, the specter of a sudden sharp rise in gases prices. Imagine oil prices at 75, 80, a 100 dollars per barrel. Gas at the pump at record highs, 6-10 dollars a gallon. The American economy would be crippled, overnight the most basic services would be reduced, and only essential travel would be affordable.
The price of food would skyrocket and city dwellers accustom to their instant gratification lifestyle, would find themselves unable to cope. Large-scale rioting and antigovernment sentiment would be the rule not the exception and no amount of law enforcement or martial law could keep the public from acting out aggressively, violently against their perceived enemies.
I foresee a drastic rise in oil prices if Bush goes forward with his narcissistic plans to control the Middle East. And what the problems that will follow will make 9/11, the Great Depression, and Pearl Harbor seem tame. Me, I am moving back to the country, returning to a simpler way of life, and staying the hell out of the way.
Stay tuned untrue believers!

Clinton Will Pull Ahead Of Obama!

As we careen toward the 2008 presidential elections, I see Hilary Clinton pulling ahead of media darling Barack Obama. Why? Because, she has a great deal more financial resources for starters but she is also a far better potential leader. She is shrewd, and while I do not agree with her left leaning politics, she is still a far better choice than a man most Americans know little about.
What people should be asking themselves is, who is Obama? We only know his canned biography and in a politically correct subculture that is the media, no one is asking how a man with a Muslim family tree is poised to take over the highest office in our land. We’ve had 6 years of religious fanaticism already visa via Dubyah, and frankly I for one am ready for a secularist to be in charge for a while.

Why are so many people fighting for Anna Nicole's Baby?

Anna Nicole Smith is not cold on the slab and already the creeps are crawling out of the woodwork to claim her child as a prize. Moreover, a judge has order her body preserved so the courts can test her DNA in a highly contested paternity case.
Yet no one is asking why these ‘men’, and I use the term loosely, want this child. I believe they do not want Anna Nicole’s baby for the betterment of the child but to have a slice of the potential future earnings from what will now be Anna Nicole’s estate. As horrible as it sounds this is the way people are motivated, they see little Daniela as a potential cash cow that they can cipher money from like a bunch of repulsive pimps.
I predict a lonesome solitary future for this young woman. She will be unable to get out from under the long shadow of her mother’s obsession with the limelight and will be lucky to make it as far as her mother did. God watch over this child---because no one else will.

Anna Nicole Smith's Death Media Slight Of Hand!

The greatest magicians in the world are not doing shows with tigers on the Vegas strip. No, they are on our televisions beaming into our living rooms via CNN, Foxnews, and MSNBC. And, their greatest trick in recent memory is turning the death of a drug addicted marginal celebrity into a story worthy of 24 hour news coverage so that the Bush White House may prepare for the invasion of Iran in a relative media blackout.
If not for the internet granting us the ability to look at news sources from outside the mainstream corporate media the entire nation would be forced to open up and accept the shovel fulls of shit from talking heads who can no longer be described as journalists but rather propagandist. If not for news sources like the BBC and other far less noticeable sources, we the people would not be able to sift through the shill created by Time-Warner, Fox, and General Electric.
These consolidators of thought, are using the death of Anna Nicole Smith as a gambit to keep the ‘average’ American’s attention away from the failure of Iraq and the impending war with Iran. Ignorance is not bliss--- it is ignorance! American’s need to wake up and see the writing on the wall, your free press has been all but usurped from mainstream sources and most of the net is little more than a boondoggle of wild conspiracy theories and claptrap sponsored by the paranoid and the outright insane.
The New World Order is not being developed in secret! It is being developed in public forums, by marketers and research analysts. While many look for secret conspiracy groups such as the Illuminati and the Masons, the real thieves of our freedom, the multinationals, suck the life from America and doom us to a second tier existence.
Politicians are corrupt, corporate journalists are bought off, and the courts are packed with half-wits with little or no objectivity for the rule of law. Bush is not part of a secret cabal; he is a paid lobbyist for corporate interests, nothing more. He takes your freedoms not for a grand scheme of an anti-Christ, but for the corporate elite. And their only desire, to enslave us in a perpetual lifestyle of consumption and debt.
To break the cycle one only needs to open his or her eyes and stop pissing away money on things that DO NOT MATTER! Move away from the big city. Reject the Mcmansion, the five credit cards, and the big promotion. Start a business, trade on the net, develop a product, be a capitalist! Learn a skill that is in demand and exploit it. Stop wasting your time trying to make it into the world of the big shots and watch how quickly they dissolve.
Capitalism is not evil. Corporatistism, collectivism, fascism, and communism are the truth threats to freedom and liberty! Win by earning money outside of the corporate sweatshops. The world needs another lawyer like it needs another pop sing sensation! However, we need plumbers, nurses, and engineers. We need thinkers and problem solvers. We do not need more leeches looking to exploit the economy for a few shares of some overinflated mega-corporation.
If the corporate world did not manipulate and pervert capitalism the problems of the environment, health care, housing, and hunger would have been solved decades ago. Eisenhower warned us not to feed the true ‘beast’ the military industrial complex. Machines of war driving back our progress as a species so a few assholes can stay in power.
By rejecting the inherent evil of corporate slavery, fascism, and socialism, we the people can build a world that can travel to the stars, end hunger, war, and ignorance. It is time to evolve!

Newsflash! Britney To Wear Panties!

I just thought everyone could use a little humor this morning! Plus, I really am sick of hearing about Britney, Paris, and Lindsey. Now, Anna Nicole there was a woman! She was not the brightest bulb (which is a definite turn off) but she was not a freaking waif that looked like she should be turning tricks to support her heroine habit.

New EU Environmental Laws Infringe On National Sovereignty.

This is a prediction of sorts more of a dire warning, really. A forecast of the police state to come. Plus, I just thought it was decent writing.


Yesterday, the European Union announced plans to toughen penalties for violators of so called ‘green laws’---including stiffer penalties for ‘international’ violators. Citing a lack of uniformity in national laws, the EU commission stated, “fines for international violators could be as high as 750,000 Eu and 10 years in prison per offense.”
In a move hailed by Greenpeace and other radical environmental groups, the EU member nations voted to move a significant amount of prosecutorial power to the EU commission, essentially rousting the sovereignty of partner nations and taking the world one-step closer to the New World Order, the one world government model envisioned by the power elite.
This raises the question, is climate change being used as a means to control the populace? To justify destroying personal liberty and handing over yet more personal freedoms to regional governing bodies like the EU.
In examining the possibility, startling new questions are raised and even more startling are the possible conclusions to these scenarios as they play out right before our eyes. Humanity is entering a dangerous era. For the first time in the history of civilization, the powers that be have the ability to monitor almost every aspect of our existence. With each step down this slippery slope we move closer to an Orwellian future were are children are little more than low wage, techno slaves serving a very elite few while living a miserable existence brought on by our own hubris.
It is up to our generation, generation X, now generation X-communicated, to cast of the chains off our surveillance state, demand answers, and retake personal liberty. We know from the failed Soviet state and the dismal anti-utopia of North Korea that collectivism is not only a bad model of government but inherently evil. It, like the proto-fascist state the US is slowly slipping toward, is a fallacy, and we must arrest its development before cyclone wire and bars seal our children’s fates.
The future rests with us, those in the here and now, the people, the individual, the real Army of one. Americans and freedom lovers everywhere can win this battle and do so without every firing a shot.
We win by not giving in, by protesting oppression and tyranny in all its forms, by raising our fists against the despotism of shrewd dictators. To protect our freedom and the sovereignty of our lands, we must be willing to fight, not with guns and bombs but with words and thought.
Remember, as long as they cannot control your thoughts, you are free! In the mind, even the subjugated enjoy liberty. Freedom is!

[c]Jack Tatum

Anna Nicole Smith's Death Will Spawn Conspiracy Theories!

It is tragic that Anna Nicole Smith has passed away so young leaving behind an infant child and a grieving husband. Already, the media is drawing parallels between Anna and Marilyn Monroe but before this celebrity obsessed nation waxes nostalgic for a new idol to exalt on the altar of dead celebs let’s not forget, this was not Norma Jean.
I will guarantee before the day is out a small, conspiratorially obsessed, section of the blogosphere will call Ms. Smith’s death a homicide. I am not predicting this I am putting a grade A stamp of certainty on it!
I am certain either the some family member of the old geezer she was married to or the photographer baby's daddy guy will likely be in the cross hairs of tabloid junkies and conspiracy nuts from every corner of sensationalist street!
Why? Because some people just can’t make it through any celebrity death or media tragedy without attaching some wild eyed conspiracy theory to it. So, get ready, this will be the hottest tabloid fodder since the ghost of lady Diane spoke to Madonna in motel room after she had sex with an elderly Elvis.

Anna Nicole Smith---Likely Cardiomyopahty

Anne Nicole is dead! Too bad, she was a nice looking woman. A bit of an imbecile but she was nice to look at. I have predicted a string of Celebrity Deaths on this blog---thankfully, Anna Nicole Smith was not one of the actresses I listed.
In the days and weeks that this woman’s life will be scrutinized by the tabloid press I am certain there will be speculation as to the cause of death.
However, I got this one, here and now, she had a fever correct, a baby in September of last year, so here goes---viral cardiomyopathy exacerbated by narcotics, alcohol, and those lousy weight loss supplements. Bet you a dollar to a donut I am right. Stay tuned, non believers!
May she find in death the peace she never had in life.

Dixie Chicks Will Win Grammy!

Here is a prediction that warms the cackles of my cynical heart. I predict the Dixie Chicks will win the Grammy for best song of the year for their song ‘I’m not ready to play nice.’ Now, I am not a big Dixie Chicks fan, accept for Natalie Manies, I think she’s hot. What I am though is a big fan of free speech. The fact that they had the courage to criticize Shrub at the height of his popularity shows a tremendous amount of guts.
What the American public did to these women in the months that followed Manies’s statement is a public chronicle of the rise of neo-fascism in America. What Maines said was no harsher a criticism than what was being volleyed about the floor of the Congress in the weeks before the 2003 invasion of Iraq.
The only difference was the prejudice of country music fans. Jeez, for people who do not want to be portrayed as inbred, redneck, trailer trash, they sure have a funny way of showing it. Let us not forget the public CD burnings and the boycott of the Chicks by radio stations across the country.
See, America espouses the right to free speech as long as it does not piss in someone else’s beer but man say something unpopular like ‘you are ashamed of Bush,’ or ‘Gays need to lighten up’ , or ‘Guns are bad,’ or ‘There was no holocaust,’ and see how long it takes before someone descends on you like a vulture and tries to squelch your right to say what you think.
America needs to reexamine its priorities in the coming decade, the first thing we need to ask is, ‘why do the statements of celebrities carry so much weight?’ they are not special. Why does the press drop to its knees every time George Clooney speaks? He’s just an egocentric asshole actor out to grab headlines because ‘Ocean’s Twelve’ was a crappy film. Smug bastard!
Anyhow, free speech good! Dixie Chicks not evil! Thag say it okay listen to their tunes!

Snickers To Become Official Snack Food Of Gay Pride Week!

My prediction for today! *Drumroll* Snickers will be come the official sponsor of every Gay Pride Parade in the nation! Alright! Now, I am going to piss in some peoples Post Toasties so brace yourselves. First off, if you read my blog below you know how bad it pisses me off that more coverage is being given to a stupid commercial than heinous crimes committed against children. So, don’t get me ranting on that shit!
You know, I have had gay friends, when I was a bouncer I had several gay friends, nice guys, I partied with them from time to time and it never threatened my masculinity. But, this is not about homophobia, however that is what certain fringe elements of the gay community would have you believe! I can hear the cry from the parapets of the Castle Gayskull, “snickers the official food of neo-Nazi white supremacists everywhere!”
Oh Christ people lighten up! It was a joke! A tad crude yes---but so are 90% of the jokes on ‘Will and Grace’, but you don’t see me boycotting NBC because Jack and Will made some smarmy joke about ‘hetero-breeders’. If gay people do not want to be the blunt of discrimination then you need to learn to pick your freaking battles and quit getting yourselves in a tizzy every time someone makes an off color comment about your lifestyle.
And by the way, it is not a lifestyle, you are either born gay or you are not. Two gay men can raise a hetero child if the child is inclined to be heterosexual. So, do us all a favor---take a break and eat a Snickers!

Snickers Kiss Trumps News Of Child Ponography Bust!

The FBI is investigating 600 suspects in an online child pornography ring. A vigilant technician at a file hosting service in Austria alerted authorities to suspicious materials and recorded the IP addresses of those downloading from the site. This young man is a hero! This goes without saying, he had the presence of mind to gather evidence against the users. My hat’s off to him.
What this demonstrates is how one person can make a difference in the fight against online child pornography. But, what it also demonstrates is that the fight against child pornography is far from won. And it seems every time a major bust takes down a site another one springs up to replace it.
I don’t understand child molesters (I do not use the term pedophile it is too polite) and I am not going to delve into their psyches here. I am not an armchair psychologist. I am writing this blog entry to bring it to other people’s attention.
All too often, the subject of child pornography is brushed over by the press, a 30 second blurb on CNN or Fox, followed by a 10 minute in depth look at Britney Spears and Kevin Federline’s break up. Americans and people around the world have a duty to be as vigilant as the young man in Austria was. People should donate to organizations such as the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. However, we also have a duty to admonish the media for its lack of coverage on the subject.
Take for example, today’s news of the Austrian bust, it was brushed over by CNN, but the “snickers kiss” controversy has been covered ad nauseam. Who cares? So, some homosexuals were offended---what does not offend the homosexual community? I am not against gays, I watched Will and Grace with my wife all the time, thought it was great!
However, child pornography is a much bigger issue than a segment of the gay community being angered by some damn commercial.
So, what can we do? Well, I am emailing CNN to tell them how little I care about “the snickers kiss” and how concerned I am as a parent about child pornography. Therefore, I ask everyone that reads this entry today to take the time to email CNN and other news outlets and insist more time be given to this issue. More coverage might not stamp out the scourge of child pornography lurking in cyberspace but it will certainly put more pressure on those who distribute, manufacture, and download this filth.

The Punch Drunk Pundit.

I would like to invite my readers to the Punch Drunk Pundit. A more serious take on current events without the satirical spin of psychic bullshit.

Dark Days Ahead as Bush Pushes for War with Iran!

Sometime this afternoon, an Iranian secretary serving in the Iranian Embassy in Iraq was kidnapped by Iraq soldiers believed to be associated with US soldiers. I foresee grave consequences as a result of this action and a worsening of the conflict with Iran. As I have previously stated on this blog, war with Iran is just around the corner and the time could not be worse.
US domestic problems are rising. Immigration is still a huge issue and without the knowledge of most Americans, President Bush is going ahead with trade plans that will, in theory, be the beginnings of the North American Union---say Buenos Dias to the Amero! Ain’t that disturbin’, eh?
So, where do we go from here? The average American, John and Joan Public, schlepping along in our cars, working harder and longer days to make ends meet? This is a cloudy future---cloudy indeed! Many things could turn the direction of the nation: a sudden revolt being the most extreme and the one I fear the most.
I know many out there feel frustrated by the seeming unwillingness of the politicians to think with their heads instead of their pocketbooks but revolution, war, and armed conflict, only feeds into the police state mentality.
War in any form is a last resort. So, what should we do? Write letters? Vote for Obama? These are not resolutions either. Number one, writing to congress person is like pissing in a swimming pool, it feels good but ultimately it does nothing and electing Obama is not a sound idea either. Not because he is black, I don’t give two shits about the color of his skin or the arrangement of his chromosomes XX, XY, neither one matters.
What does matter is his ability to govern, and as of yet he is relatively new in the political game, little more than proverbial noob on the forum of national politics. So, who do we turn to? Either Hilary or Giuliani would be the safest bet in the dark days ahead. Hillary is a sharp individual as shrewd as they come and likely more feared by Bin Laden and Teheran than the entire US Marine Corps and a squadron of Jedi Knights! Why? Because she has no compunction about leveling any anti-Semitic state and this is not necessarily a bad quality given the times we live in. In fact, had Hillary Clinton been in the White House, we would not be in Iraq and Iran’s nuclear facilities would like a tool shed after an F5 tornado.
And Giuliani, well let’s face Rudy, regardless of political affiliation, is one of the coolest politicians to come along in the last 50 years.
Looking into the crystal ball of ‘oh shits!’ and 'did that just happen?’ I am seeing dark day’s folks. Let’s hope we make it to ’08 then perhaps, if everyone does get all moist of Obama, we might make it out of this one alive! Go Rudy! Hail to Hillary! Either one of them, beats the hell out of the current seat warmer.

Sarah Silverman Show Will Be Biggest Hit In '07!

Comedy Central recently aired the first episode of the Sarah Silverman Show. I thought it was freaking hilarious! Not to mention, behind my wife, she is the hottest woman on the planet! She even out ranks Janeana Garofalo, Stockard Channing, Carrie Fisher, and the chick that plays ‘Jordan’ on ‘Scrubs’ on my five list. (If you are wondering what the five list is please reference ‘Friends’. And please relax and watch some TV every once and awhile.)
But, enough about my fantasy of my wife leaving me for a Jamaican masseur named Leroy, then meeting Sarah Silverman in a comedy club where she falls madly in love with me and we run off to the Bahamas and marry. Oh shit! I am rambling.
So, you want a prediction? I predict the Sarah Silverman Show will be a hit for Comedy Central while the naked Trucker and T-bone show will crash faster than a stock car driven by a drunk chimp. (Just a little T-boneque humor.)
Why will Silverman’s show be a hit? Plain and simple, it is fresh, edgy, sure you can argue that it is just a rehash of the mouthy, sassy chick, but Sarah is different, she is a ‘real’ bitch. She actually says rude shit in an unapologetic way. She does not care and she does not fall back on the stereotypical ‘man hater’ laughs.
So, I predict (hope) the show does well and Silverman has a run like Comedy Central’s anchor show ‘South Park’. And if doesn’t Sarah can always crash at my place. (Just kidding! Well…)

Super Bowl Eclipses Countdown to World War III

First off, I got the super bowl prediction right! Amazing, huh? Not really, I just visited a few sports betting sites, most of them had the spread as Colts by two touchdowns so I made a guess. Yea me! But my point was not to be right, it was to show how easy it is to make educated guesses and call them predictions. Of course, I got the rioting part wrong but I blame that on the freaking weather! Oh well.
Now, onto my prediction for the day, I am predicting a greater than a magnitude 5 quake in Pacific Northwest in the next month. The USGS has issued a warning of a possible quake along the Vancouver fault. So, I took this info, combined it with some weather patterns change, and made a guess. I give myself a one in three chance of making an accurate prediction.
My other prediction is an abrupt down turn in the worsening relations with Iran. I have been scanning some of the non-American news websites gathering data and most of the world is expecting us to invade regardless of what CNN, Fox, and MSNBC are reporting. Several Middle East analysts have warned of a destabilization of the region if the US invades and they are probably right---we’ll see soon enough.
I actually support war with Iran and opposed (and still oppose) war with Iraq. Sounds contradictory but is not when you look at from this angle. Iran is the lone Middle East heavy, Saddam knew it, the Saudis knew it, and the US damn well should have known it. Of course, it is really too late to make this move but Bush is a linear thinker, his mind is made up, the war is ago and the man would ignore Jesus if he floated out of the sky and told him ‘NO’!
So, how can the layperson, the lay psychic if you will, tell that war is eminent? Watch CNN and Fox. When an invasion or US military action is eminent, CNN muzzles its reporters while Fox acts as a mouthpiece, a mammoth propaganda machine. Think I am crazy? Go back and review the weeks leading to the recent Israeli conflict. The BBC, Al Jeezera, and Reuters reported a brewing conflict between Israel and Lebanon but CNN and Fox were strangely mute on the subject. Then when war broke out CNN and Fox acted surprised as if no one saw it coming. Oh horseshit!
Therefore, for this week I ask you to keep an eye on NY Times, the BBC, and Global Security.org and see what you garner from their reporting then come back and tell me what you think.

Gas To Fall Even More Sharply Just Before Iran Invaasion!

In the days leading up to, the coming conflict with Iran I foresee gas prices falling more sharply than they already have in recent weeks. In fact, several economic indicators will show favorable upticks including unemployment, the stock market, and the fed rates.
‘But wait! This is already happening,’ you say. And it has. However, the gains up to this point have been modest. What I am suggesting is a strong uptick, the rise before the fall, because, when the shit hits the fan, and it will hit the fan, otherwise Dub’ wouldn’t be making such a stink over his plans ‘not to go to war.’ Sorry, Mr. President we heard that bullshit in ’03 right before you got us asshole deep in Iraq.
What I am predicting is a sudden huge drop in oil prices, the Saudis* trying to show that they are trying to avoid the catastrophe, and the release of unemployment numbers that get all of us looking the other way. This combined with a Gulf of Tonkin style flashpoint will keep us distracted and the congress running in circles, all the while Bush charges headlong into the Zargos Mountains straight for Teheran.
Now, most of my loyal reader(s) (teehee) know I am not claiming psychic ability; in fact, all I am really doing is aggregating and simplifying various information sources such as NY Times, the Economist, Time, and the BBC as well as other more obscure, but completely public sources. I am not implying that people that read my blog are stupid. Nevertheless, the problem with journalism today is a muddling of the news with thin veiled opinion. I am just lifting the veil and interjecting my opinion (predictions; forecasts) with current events.
So, what you need to look for in the days running up to the Iranian invasion is a sudden sharp drop in gas (got that, but it is going lower), positive economic forecasts (got that), and a surge on Wall Street (trust them boys no more top secret info than the NSA). When all this culminates we’ll be days from an invasion. Then there will be the unifying attack that will incite the masses and prevent the Congress from doing anything.
*The Saudis slowed production this week. However, they will likely raise it just before the invasion of Iran to show they were acting in good faith and trying to prevent the war by ‘quelling the oil lust of the crazy Americans.’

Super Bowl Post Game Riot!

I am not a football fan. Truth be known I think the entire sport is a little homoerotic. Guys bending over in front of others guys waiting for the ‘ball’ to be hiked to them. Sounds a little gay---not there is anything wrong with that.
Hell, I only found out today that the Bears and the Colts were playing. I really just don’t care about the sport. It is boring and corrupt. Plus, they abuse the players and could give two shits about their athlete’s health.
But, enough about my hatred of the pigskin. My prediction for the Super Bowl is the Colts by two touchdown---29-16. Nah! Just kidding I’m not a bookie, how the hell should I know? But, with the country so tense in these days of war and terrorism I foresee overzealous fans rioting in the post game hours. And it will likely be some of the worst post game riots in decades.
Why? Because, when people are subjugated and are having their basic freedoms usurped they look for an outlet. So, rather than join an anti war protest, or fight the government’s intrusion into our personal lives, the masses will instead take to the streets and wreak havoc over a silly game. It’s pathetic when you think about it.
Sociologists try to blame it on mob mentality. I on the other hand blame it on apathy. So many Americans are angry about the course of our government but feed them some pork rinds and beer and give them some overrated sporting event to watch and they become content to ignore all threats to their liberty.
So, tomorrow when Colts fans, or Bears, pour into the streets and start lighting cars on fire and smashing in windows imagine they are protesting human rights violations, or unfair taxation, or some nitwits latest attempt at gun control legislation. It won’t change what the blithering idiots are tearing shit up for but it might make you feel better.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force...Number One Cartoon, Baby!

What do you get when you mix an ill-conceived marketing plan and a hyper vigilant law enforcement agency? You get hours of redundant media coverage and a couple of goofs facing possible 5-year prison sentences.
I, of course, am talking about the now infamous Aqua Teen Hunger Force marketing campaign that gridlocked the city of Boston for hours yesterday. And I for one think it’s funny as hell! This has shown our country’s tendency to overreact since 9/11.
Yes, overreact! We are becoming to vigilante, almost paranoid; anyone with half a brain could see those were not bombs. And, the reaction of the governor of Massachusetts was about what I would expect from an elected official wanting to look tough in a crisis. I mean common buddy, you are the governor Massachusetts---not Texas.
Anyway, this has brought me to an entire cluster of predictions for this entry so I’ll handle them one at a time so I don’t ramble as much as usual.
1. This is going to backfire on Homeland Security. I think most people find this entire situation stupid. Both what the young men did and how the Boston PD and Department of Homeland Security handle the situation. Only one word describes the DHS reaction---panic. They, the DHS and BPD, were not in control of the situation. In fact, they have once again shown just how disorganized they are. This is a great example of what happens when the federal government funnels billions of dollars into a highly centralized agency with the idea of making operations more efficient. Therefore, I see public backlash against DH. In the coming weeks there will be questions: Why did they continue to treat this is as a terrorist incident long after they knew it was a publicity stunt? Why are they pursuing charges against these guys when there was obviously NO malicious intent? And why were other cities put on alert when they KNEW this was a publicity stunt?
2. Aqua Teen Hunger Force will gain in popularity as a result of this. Despite the negative press and opinions of some of the idiots on Foxnews, ATHF will gain so many viewers from this it will rival Family Guy for adult cartoon supremacy.
3. The most dire prediction I have from this stems for our countries growing callousness to terrorist threats. If something happens, I mean really happens, people will be slower to react because they see the DHS as incompetent and their information unreliable.
Sure, the rank and file guys try but they are led by insidiously idiotic bureaucrats who are piecemeal demolishing the security of this Nation.
So, what have we learned from the Aqua Teen debacle? Marketers are morons. The DHS is lost, Americans just don’t give shit anymore, and a shake, fries, and piece of meat can even clog up transportation arteries.

Tyra BanksTanks Paris Obssesion!

Yet another f****ing Hilton prediction. Oh, whatever being controls the universe please knock this bland ninny down a notch on the Yahoo popular searches! So, what is the prediction? I predict that Tyra Banks will pass Paris as the most talked about celeb in ’07.
Why? Because, she is a healthy looking, attractive woman with a reasonable amount of intelligence, a proverbial breath of fresh air in a world obsessed with size 00 beanpoles. Me, I think Tyra is SEXY as hell! Especially, since she has gotten a little thick. It looks natural, womanly, unlike the 90lbs wonders who are overexposed on every TV, internet, print, and multimedia outlet on the planet.
Truth is most men want to see a curvy, voluptuous gals, it is just that all the advertisers have made us guilty for feeling attracted to someone who does not look 12. Advertising is perverting the female form so that women feel like they have to look and dress like their teenage daughters (ex that vapid cereal commercial were the mom obsesses over getting into her jeans from Woodstock).
I for one am glad my wife looks like she’s 30 (although she is a little older than that) and I like the fact she has a figure, it’s hot! It makes me want her that much more!
Men need to show some balls and let people know they like women with curves. I got the sack to say it! So, step you self effacing weenies and say: “I like a girl with some hips!”
Let’s keep our fingers crossed on this one!

Castro's Death Will Change Little In Cuba.

It is a well-known fact Fidel Castro, Marxist-communist leader of Cuba, is very ill and will likely die soon. Soon being a relative term for some time in the next year, after all predicting an exact date would be superfluous if I was wrong and creepy if I was right. (Although, I did make an entry in a celebrity death pool of April 20 of ‘07 because that is my anniversary.) Of course, I could die in the next year. But then again, it is the fact that we could die at any moment that makes life fun and interesting. The essence of randomness in the universe, the chaos of the cosmos--- but that is for another blog. This is a thread about the whimsical pseudo-science of fate prediction not a blog of my pompous personal musings on fractal math and cosmology.
Alright! I’ll quit pontificating and get to the point.
Many Cuban Americans have longed for the death of Castro seeing his death as some sort of relief to the impoverished nation of their birth. But, some wise person once said “be careful what you wish for.” I’m not Cuban so I have no personal reference or interest in his death. Other than seeing, an evil man get his just desserts and, yes, Castro, like that bastard Che Guevara, is an evil man. And while I am on the subject those Goddamned Che t-shirts irk the shit out of me, so to the parents who allow their little 15 year old pseudo revolutionaries to wear this symbol of a brutal leftist, you can kiss my big white ass. It is free country and you are entitled to your freedom of speech but I think most people just think the iron on of Che on their shirt is ‘cool’ and have no concept of what a bastard he really was.
Anyway, sorry, got on a rant there for a moment. The point to this is I predict a huge celebration in Miami when Castro bites the bullet however, this will be followed by a steep depression in Cuban-American community when they realize that it won’t mean a thing. The Cuban people, at least the folks in Cuba, will stay under the thumb of whatever puppet dictator that fills the void resulting from Castro’s death. For all the chants of ‘liberacion’ in the streets of Miami there will be equally raucous celebrations welcoming Cuba’s next dictator in the streets of Havana.
I know this is sad, especially for those Cuban Americans who are freedom-loving folk that have waited for decades to return democracy to their country. But, let’s face it, if the Cubans of Cuba wanted real democracy they would have fought back and ousted that cigar chomping hack of a baseball player in 1961.
In the final analysis, I welcome those Cubans who braved so much to come here and who have embraced the American way, building lives for their families, building business, and working hard for a country that has all too often marginalized them. However, I predict their hopes for their homeland will be dashed when they see their fellow compatriots roll over and take it in the ear when the next butthead comes to power.

Will Teheran Glow In The Dark?

Things could not look worse in Iraq. Violence all over the country, murders, executions, firefights, and still the White House refuses to call it a civil war. US soldiers dying almost daily and with little to show for it, other than the satisfaction of trying to do what they believe to be right. How will it all end? Impossible to see but either way it is going to be bloody and we are going to feel the blowback here in the US for years to come.
Now, to make matters worse, Iran is attempting to assert their influence in the deepening conflict and President Bush seems determined to stop this no matter what the cost. Bush will go ahead without batting an eye, regardless of the international consequences.
I often hear the question in the media: Is the war on terror justified? That debate will likely trouble scholars for decades to come and cannot be decided by the bipolar trends of the polls.
I say yes. However, this yes comes with qualification.
Should The United States hunt down the terrorists that mastermind the 9/11 attacks? Yes. Should we have invaded Iraq? No. Should we attack Iran? The time to deal with Iran militarily has passed but it is highly likely we will do it anyway.
Now, the big question, will the US use tactical nukes to achieve this goal. Rubbing my crystal ball, peering into the ethereal plane of, “oh shit what if that happens?” I say with the US military stretched thin and the rugged Zargos Mountains encircling Iran, it is very likely, almost a definite that the US will use tactical (low yield, 10 KT or less) nuclear weapons.
The result? International chaos that makes the current state of affairs seem tame by comparison.
Even the atheists should pray about this one.

MIx Martial Arts Death Long Over Due.

I am a fan of mixed martial arts and boxing. Love the stuff! However, I will admit to the inherent dangers of these sports. Occasionally, boxers die in the ring or as a result of the injuries, they have sustained fighting. Nevertheless, statistically boxing is a safer amateur sport than football. Fewer deaths and brain and spinal cord injuries occur in all of sanctioned amateur boxing than in youth soccer. If you don’t believe me look it up.
But, I am not here to debate sport safety, I am here to make a prediction. The last few years has seen an explosion in the popularity of mixed martial arts (ex UFC). And, although there have been a couple of deaths on the ‘county fair’ circuits. The major venues, the Ultimate Fighting Championship, Pride, and King of The Cage have not had a death.
Therefore, I predict a death this year. I base this on the fact that the sport is way over do for such a tragedy. And with the crowds craving more bloodshed and the promoters mismatching opponents, it is simply a matter of time.
I hope this does not happen. Hope and pray. But, truth is MMA is far less regulated then the sport boxing and is fast becoming just as crooked. I love these sports and hope someday the fighter’s health will be taken into account. However, bloodlust and money will likely prevent this from ever happening.

Paris Hilton's Star Becomes A Blackhole!

In a stunning upset to bored, pathetic people everywhere, it will be discovered in 2007 that Paris Hilton is in fact---really not that cool and definitely not hot. Now, here is a case of the media forcing a celebrity on the public. Five years ago, no one cared who this bimbo was. She was just some spoiled rich kid that the New York tabloids followed, a regional oddity, like a farmer with a three-eyed sheep.
Overnight, with the help of her family’s money and influence no doubt, this twit was catapulted to celebrity through a force fed media campaign that leaves the Bush press machine in awe. She has zero talent, zero personality, and is nothing special to look at. Moreover, she’s teaching our young girls to be self centered and vacuous. Want to turn back a hundred years of women’s rights? Put Paris in the vicinity. She is to feminism what a black hole is to light.
How this woman gets millions of hits a day on Yahoo can only be the result of a guerilla media campaign. No guy I know looks her up, because no guy I know finds her attractive, and no woman I know searches for her on the internet, for obvious reasons. So, who is looking at her? Well, you know my theory.
Therefore, my prediction for this nitwit is for her to enjoy her moment in the limelight because like a black hole, she will collapse in on herself and in another year will be just a punch line in a string of endless bad jokes. Adios, stick girl.

The Coming Storm.

No doubt the climate is changing, in fact, Global Warming may be happening at much faster rate than first predicted. It is unnecessary to cite specific sources, there are just too many. Everyone from the Pentagon to the National Weather Service to those people with divining rods has unanimously agreed that we are headed for catastrophic climate change.
So what do I see, well, I have done my homework on this, including reading up on the US government plans to send up giant mirrors (oh Christ! Do these people EVER watch ‘Futurama’?) And the insane idea to fill our atmosphere with a reflective silica dust, are you kidding? What happens if there are multiple major eruptions after the dust has been sprayed in the atmosphere? Has anyone thought of that?
So, what is going to happen? Well, if you own a house on or near the beach you had better make certain all of your furniture is made of rubber. And, if this winter was any indication of things to come, we, meaning the Big Blue Marble, the Global Village, are screwed!
How screwed are we? Even if we stopped all manufacturing, which is not going to happen, and stopped driving, and I know my big butt neighbor is not going to walk to work, we will still not end the catastrophic climate change. Why? Because of the Earth’s cyclic weather patterns. An Ice Age here, a warm up there, it is a way of controlling the population of critters on this berg. And the sooner that everyone comes in line with the fact that the earth is a living entity (I don’t mean the hippy bullsh** either!) we will all be better off.
Sorry folks, but this planet is overpopulated by at least 3 billion and cataclysmic weather is nature’s way of eliminating this issue. Is it sad? Yes, it is especially sad given the human race’s ability to accomplish great things. Had we started even ten years ago building planet style ships we would likely be a third of the way there and would be able to travel out of here in large numbers. Imagine, hundreds of thousands, if not millions drifting on mammoth ships in the depths of space exploring the galaxy. Think it is science fiction? Well, the nuclear sub was when Jules Vern wrote about it and we know how that turned out.
Humanity will make it. This is not a prediction, this is just optimism, and one of the few things you will ever see me be optimistic about. So, what is my prediction for the global climate? Warm days followed by some really, really cold decades. Better, bundle up!

US To Reinstate Draft!

With war in Iran right around the corner. And with US troops stretched as thin as a Hilton sister, I foresee the draft, the involuntary conscription of US citizens into the armed services, as an inevitable conclusion of a two-decade-old policy, which was in acted with the ‘will of the people’, ended by the wants of the privileged.
‘So, when is it coming oh great Sarkastak?’ Oh----*Rubs his forehead.*(Not to divine mystical energy but because all the shit gives me a migraine.) I see March, maybe April, shortly after the Bush Administration begins their ill-conceived plan to hit Teheran.
In fact, a bill is already in congress to do this and it has come from the most unlikely of sources, Charles Rangle, democratic congressional representative and Korean War Vet. Why would Rangle do this? His answer is an idealistic yet all too foolish proposal that reasons by having a conscript military, politicos will be a little less likely to push our armed forces into a war.
Wrong, wrong-----wrong! All passage of such an act will do is give ‘Dubyah’ the cannon fodder to go into the breach of his crusade. I stand by this prediction, along with the prediction the US will be asshole deep in Iran in the next two months, give, or take a month.
So, if you don’t like fruitless strategically devoid military operations and cuscus now would be the time to go somewhere warmer or colder *wink*. Hope the conscientious objectors like hockey and tortillas cause if you are between 18 and 45, are marginally healthy, have a Y chromosome, and are allergic to shrapnel this is your only option.

Sylvia Browne---Psychic Victimizer----Wrong!

As the terrible crimes of Michael Devlin flood the media and the horrors those two young boys endured come to light one issue has all but disappeared thanks to the inherent idiocy of the masses. The phony and I say with a LOUD voice PHONY predictions of Sylvia Browne.
Even at the height of the psychic craze, during the heyday of John Edwards, this lady was an obvious and transparent fake. Yet, year after year, the talk show goons, Montel Williams and Larry King to name a couple, have give this fraud a place to ply her wares with impunity, often defending this charlatan from potential debunkers and skeptics.
With the horrible predictions, she made in the Hornbeck case turning out to be false I predict Sylvia Browne will be the subject of a lawsuit. At least I hope so! It is amazing that the FTC or Justice Department does not investigate the claims of people like this. They are predators of the worst sort jumping in during tragedies with a bunch of ill begotten vagaries. That in the instance of Shawn Hornbeck Case could have resulted in people, mostly misguided believers, looking in the wrong direction due to her phony predictions.
Sylvia Browne, who is not affiliated with any law enforcement agency to my knowledge, essentially gave her ‘profile’ of the man who she claimed ‘killed’ Hornbeck who was found several days later in the home of alleged (obvious) child molester Michael Devlin.
Why has no one brought up fraud charges on this woman? Why has her website not been closed? Most of all why are people still buying her crap?
With any luck, this woke up a good segment of believers to the realities of psychics, especially those who claim to have ‘special’ powers.

A miracle study revealed!

This may come as a shock to many of you that surf the web but there is a life outside of celebrity worship. Are any of you aware the U.S. is involved in two wars? Are any of you paying attention? Or are most of you too worried about the celebrity bottom feeder Paris Hilton to notice that the U.S. is on the verge of yet a third armed conflict.
What is the obsession with this twit anyway? She is boring and infantile. Too stupid to live really. But hey I ain’t here to judge, I just calls ‘em like I sees ‘em! Not to mention the woman is so ugly she’d make a freight train take a dirt road! What is it going to take for the majority of you out there to pull your heads out of your cyber-asses and pay attention to something other than Lindsay Lohan’s pathetic tussle with the ‘drank' and Ms. Hilton's seeming inability to wear panties.
I have a prediction that will possibly piss a great many people off but here it goes. I predict a major university will publish a study finding most people that surf the internet are *drum roll* morons. Do you really think that any of these celebrities give a shit about the causes they spout off about with nauseating regularity? Or more importantly, do you think they give two shit about us? And what makes their opinion so valuable? I met George Clooney on an elevator, he is a reasonably intelligent person, but he’s not one of the greatest minds of the twenty first century!
Have any of you people ever heard of Stephen Hawking other than his guest shots on the Simpsons and Futurama? He is a brilliant cosmologist and a man I admire more than any of the dipwads that flash across the covers of the tabloids.
I’m not saying you can’t keep track of Brittany Spears or Brad Pitt, just do it with some moderation. I have checked Yahoo’s top searches for today: Paris Hilton was numero uno! What the hell people? Are you just that dumb?
Save yourselves from the ambiguity of idiocy before it is too late! Read a Goddamned book other than ‘ten ways to make your man hot!’

Slow Week!

This week in predictions has been slow. I have thought about how I would like to focus my energy. Politics and world events kept popping up. So, I have a new prediction. One so dire many will call me mad others will say no shit, Chewbacca. I see war with Iran beginning in the next three months, probably sometime in April when the last of the carrier groups are in place in the Persian Gulf.
The scenario will start something like this, intelligence will trickle out to the press that Iran has struck a deal with the proverbial devil, North Korea, and that they are closer to the bomb than once believed. A terrorist attack in Europe or perhaps the U.S. will divert our attention for a moment and as the hours and days after the attack pass, it will be discovered that Iran was behind the attack.
The White House will use this information to justify the unilateral move to attack Iran and within days of this Gulf of Tonkin like ruse America will be fighting a war on three fronts. Here is where things get murky, will the U.S. win? Will the terrorists in the U.S. hit us with backpack nukes? No way to see. Let’s hope not!

Indonesian Earthquake!

You heard it here first folks! Today Indonesia experienced a 7.2 quake as I predicted a week earlier. Fasten your seatbelts, within the next three months, I believe the U.S. will experience a 5 or greater magnitude quake.
What do I base this on? Nothing! It is just an educated guess.

Lohan To Join A Cult

Lindsay Lohan will join a cult like religious sect such as Scientology. Why? Because, entertainers just seem to be easily duped by spiritual movements, in fact, they seem to need it just to get along. Look, at this poor kid. When she first started acting, at least the first film I saw her in ‘Freaky Friday’ I guessed she would grow up to be an attractive woman. Was I ever wrong! Lohan has joined the Paris Hilton set obsessing over the weight and living a pickled lifestyle drinking every night as she parades around the jet set.
What is really sad about all of this is so many little girls look up to this junkie, alcoholic, slut. Moreover, she is an admit skank, who has actually bragged about sleeping around, ever heard of HIV or HepC? Wow! Thanks Disney for making this little rat a role model for our daughters.
What cult will she join? Hard to see, always in motion are the trendy religious sects of Hollywood. But she will seek solace in some bullshit pseudo-religion or maybe she’ll just OD like so many other doper spoiled Hollywood brats. Hope she takes Paris Hilton with her.