Paris Hilton Career To Tank!

With the recent announcement of the AP’s attempt to keep Paris Hilton out of the media for every little inane piece of salacious nonsense that occurs in her over privileged life, I predict Paris Hilton will realize this year that she is in fact a huge moron! This will at first be a shock to the airhead of the millennia but eventually she will accept this and move out to a trailer in Jersey with a trucker named Burt.

Anna Nicole Funeral To Include Clowns!

Ah the Anna Nicole Saga continues. Why, oh why, do we give two tick terds about this woman’s funeral? She needs to be laid to rest (no pun intended). The insanity of talking about this woman’s “over the top” funeral just shows the media’s complete lack of empathy.
Moreover, I’ll bet a dollar to a donut that some f**king tabloid will get a picture of her in her coffin. We need to get a life---myself included. I am just feeding into the frenzy by writing blogs mocking the media frenzy around her death.

Judge To Become Spokesman For Hair Club!

In a move that will both shock and stun the media, Judge Larry Seidlin, the famed farcical judiciary in the Anna Nicole Smith, “Who’s your daddy?” case, will become a spokesman for Hair Club for men and will have his ass hair transplanted to his head!

Pelosi's Comments Bush's Thinking Impaired...No Sh**?

As Bush pushes his Iraqi plan into action, Nancy Pelosi stepped up to the plate and called Bush’s thinking “impaired” in an interview with Larry King on CNN. A gutsy if not all too well thought out statement. Impaired would imply that there was a reason for his lunacy, crack, psychiatric problems, alcohol, autoerotic asphyxiation.
However, as we watch Bush play gunboat diplomacy with Iran and shovel billions into the failed democracy in Iraq, we must ask, how is his thinking impaired? Obviously, the man has all of his faculties; he is not abusing substances, at least none that has been reported by any media sources. It could be argued Dub’ has a mental illness, of course, that could be said of every president since Washington.
Therefore, careful wording is in order. How about judgment “flawed”? Or better yet, judgment “undesirable”? Or even better, judgment “not conducive to order and logic”? If none of these work then how about our president is a “greedy little roly-poly” with no conviction about using US troops to fight a war for oil?

Tomb of Jesus Discovered!

The discovery of the crypt of Jesus of Jerusalem has already started Biblical scholars talking. And of course, there will no doubt be attempts to both prove and disprove this tomb as the authentic tomb of Christ---or a descendent of Jesus.
Moreover, I predict this will be the beginning of a new fervor around the return of Jesus. In addition, some more fanatical Christian sect might try to get their hands on the remains in order to attempt to clone the corpse and thereby raise “Jesus” from the dead.
Sound too farfetched? Well, examine the history of some of the attempts by various sects to bring about Jesus’ return then ask that question again.