Newsflash! Britney To Wear Panties!

I just thought everyone could use a little humor this morning! Plus, I really am sick of hearing about Britney, Paris, and Lindsey. Now, Anna Nicole there was a woman! She was not the brightest bulb (which is a definite turn off) but she was not a freaking waif that looked like she should be turning tricks to support her heroine habit.

Tyra BanksTanks Paris Obssesion!

Yet another f****ing Hilton prediction. Oh, whatever being controls the universe please knock this bland ninny down a notch on the Yahoo popular searches! So, what is the prediction? I predict that Tyra Banks will pass Paris as the most talked about celeb in ’07.
Why? Because, she is a healthy looking, attractive woman with a reasonable amount of intelligence, a proverbial breath of fresh air in a world obsessed with size 00 beanpoles. Me, I think Tyra is SEXY as hell! Especially, since she has gotten a little thick. It looks natural, womanly, unlike the 90lbs wonders who are overexposed on every TV, internet, print, and multimedia outlet on the planet.
Truth is most men want to see a curvy, voluptuous gals, it is just that all the advertisers have made us guilty for feeling attracted to someone who does not look 12. Advertising is perverting the female form so that women feel like they have to look and dress like their teenage daughters (ex that vapid cereal commercial were the mom obsesses over getting into her jeans from Woodstock).
I for one am glad my wife looks like she’s 30 (although she is a little older than that) and I like the fact she has a figure, it’s hot! It makes me want her that much more!
Men need to show some balls and let people know they like women with curves. I got the sack to say it! So, step you self effacing weenies and say: “I like a girl with some hips!”
Let’s keep our fingers crossed on this one!

Paris Hilton's Star Becomes A Blackhole!

In a stunning upset to bored, pathetic people everywhere, it will be discovered in 2007 that Paris Hilton is in fact---really not that cool and definitely not hot. Now, here is a case of the media forcing a celebrity on the public. Five years ago, no one cared who this bimbo was. She was just some spoiled rich kid that the New York tabloids followed, a regional oddity, like a farmer with a three-eyed sheep.
Overnight, with the help of her family’s money and influence no doubt, this twit was catapulted to celebrity through a force fed media campaign that leaves the Bush press machine in awe. She has zero talent, zero personality, and is nothing special to look at. Moreover, she’s teaching our young girls to be self centered and vacuous. Want to turn back a hundred years of women’s rights? Put Paris in the vicinity. She is to feminism what a black hole is to light.
How this woman gets millions of hits a day on Yahoo can only be the result of a guerilla media campaign. No guy I know looks her up, because no guy I know finds her attractive, and no woman I know searches for her on the internet, for obvious reasons. So, who is looking at her? Well, you know my theory.
Therefore, my prediction for this nitwit is for her to enjoy her moment in the limelight because like a black hole, she will collapse in on herself and in another year will be just a punch line in a string of endless bad jokes. Adios, stick girl.