Lohan To Join A Cult

Lindsay Lohan will join a cult like religious sect such as Scientology. Why? Because, entertainers just seem to be easily duped by spiritual movements, in fact, they seem to need it just to get along. Look, at this poor kid. When she first started acting, at least the first film I saw her in ‘Freaky Friday’ I guessed she would grow up to be an attractive woman. Was I ever wrong! Lohan has joined the Paris Hilton set obsessing over the weight and living a pickled lifestyle drinking every night as she parades around the jet set.
What is really sad about all of this is so many little girls look up to this junkie, alcoholic, slut. Moreover, she is an admit skank, who has actually bragged about sleeping around, ever heard of HIV or HepC? Wow! Thanks Disney for making this little rat a role model for our daughters.
What cult will she join? Hard to see, always in motion are the trendy religious sects of Hollywood. But she will seek solace in some bullshit pseudo-religion or maybe she’ll just OD like so many other doper spoiled Hollywood brats. Hope she takes Paris Hilton with her.

Shaking Things Up! Earthquake Predictions for Spring of 07!

Based on the number of people searching Yahoo for the USGS I am going to make my earthquake prediction for the next three months. I predict an earthquake greater than a magnitude 6 in the next three months somewhere on the Pacific Rim. Furthermore, I am predicting a 7 or greater in the continental U.S.
Did God tell me this? Nope. Do I have some magical insight? Please, refer to my earlier posts. Do I know some hidden science? D in trigonometry and a C in calculus, so that one is out. I am playing the odds folks just like every shyster who claims to speak to the ‘spirits’ so they can separate your money from your wallet. (I just want you to click on my Google Ads!)
If you want actual reasonable earthquake predictions check out usgs.gov. However, if you are leaving San Francisco because some psychic said the big one was coming, do yourself a favor; stay there so you don’t infect the rest of the country with your idiocy.

Neocons+Fundmentalist Christians+Failing Policy= Facist Uprising

Here is a prediction that I am truly surprised has not happened already. Pat Robertson has been making predictions ever since I can remember. My grandmother watched him from as far back as I can recall and she thought the guy was a genuine prophet of God. Last week he made one of the direst predictions he has ever made. He stated, and I am paraphrasing, that ‘God told him the U.S. would be hit by a catastrophic terrorist attack, possibly nuclear.’ Oooooh! Wow! He’s a profit for the ages.
It does not take a prophet of God to make this prediction. It is just a matter of playing the odds. Recently, the Pentagon released a study on the mathematical probability of such an event occurring in the next ten years. It was somewhere on the order of 35% in the next five years. And, of course, the Pentagon is being conservative. Genius investor Warren Buffet goes further saying it is “inevitable.” Therefore, what Pat Robertson is saying is not that radical. What is radical about his statements is the accompanying incitements to do violence against “non-believers” in his brand of fundamentalist Christian doctrine.
If the things he suggested, such as assassinating foreign leaders, had come from a Muslim cleric he would (and should be) be imprisoned. Therefore, I predict Pat Robertson will be removed from the desk of the 700 Club for inciting violence and hate crimes. It is only a matter of time before he comes uncorked on national television and tells fundamentalists to “convert” the unbelievers, “one way, or the other!”
Take a look at this scenario, it is late 2007, the war in Iraq is a complete shambles and the casualty list has hit 10,000, due in no small part to ill begotten plans of the White House. The Congress has turned on the President and both sides of the aisle are yelling “impeachment!” The Presidents lone allies, other than Big Oil, the fundamentalists Christians standby their man to the bitter end, all the while pontificating about Armageddon.
Enter Robertson. In desperation seeing that Christ is not likely going to pop in and save the day he goes to the airwaves and ‘suggests’ that real Americans retake the country, by force if necessary. A growing number of neocons join the extreme right wing, white supremacists and survival types. Seeing the ground swell Robertson again ‘suggests’ the time for action is now! Like some horrible science fiction movie, they seize much of the nation by force aided by neocons and other the fascist persuasion.
Seem unreal? Is it anymore unreal than a twisted cleric praying for the death of a foreign leader? I didn’t think so.

Will Bush Be Gone In '07?

With his recent pigheadedness and outright belligerence in the face of criticism and questions about his Iraq plan, I see Congress making an end run at impeachment of George Bush. The president will push for war with Iran through a series of well-disguised arguments starting with the alleged arrest of 5 Republican Guard operating covertly in Iraq. As the drum of war draws closer, a bipartisan action will result in the impeachment of President Bush that will end in what I see as one of the largest political debacles since Andrew Jackson signed the Indian Removal Act.
What will follow may be the outright civil war or worse a coup by the U.S. military, if you thought the Patriot Act was fascism wait until you have some bullheaded, dip-dunk general in charge. So, my daily world event prediction is impeachment in 2007.
Tune in tomorrow fellow cynics!

Kate Hudson, I'm looking into my round globe(s)!

Celebrity Prediction of the Day
For those of you unfamiliar with Goldie Hahn, she is a gorgeous geriatric who has done such great films as “Private Benjamin” and “Overboard’. Now, I have always had the hots for Goldie save for one flaw she has passed onto her cute kid Kate Hudson, if you don’t know who she is please refer to the photo. What is that unfortunate trait you might ask? I don’t want to be crude but it is her breasts, actually her lack thereof. The poor kid is as flat as a pizza box. Now, I’m sure I will draw fire from the feminist crowd for this prediction (or more appropriately termed suggestion) but I see a boob job in young Kate’s future, probably this year, maybe next.
I know, I know, scandalous, yet I see it in my mind’s eye, bubbly little Kate, who has a scrawny butt by the way, please reference the all fours scene in “You, Dupree”, and Me to see what I am talking about. I see, boobs, a nice B cup (she could not handle any more) rack complete with some fantastic cleavage to go with a nice, but somewhat too thin, body.
Now, this may offend some people and have others asking who the hell is this guy to make such a prediction (suggestion). Well, it is a free country and right behind nice round bubble butts, I like boobs! It’s true! I’m a cynic psychic not a eunuch. Boobs are awesome! Even on a tiny little thing like Ms. Hudson. So, let’s pray I got this one right.